Gusii traditions : A Cultural Act or a Tool of Punishment? Rethinking Death Rituals Among the Abagusii
The burial of a loved one is a sacred, solemn moment that unites families and communities in grief, reflection, and reconciliation. For the Abagusii community, traditional burial rites have long played a significant role in shaping identity, passing on values, and ensuring continuity of ancestral customs. However, recent events in Kisii County—particularly the mistreatment of Mellen, a nurse from Narok, during her estranged husband’s burial in Mosobeti—have raised critical questions: Are we still using culture to unite or to punish? Is “kurusha mchanga” still a sacred act, or has it morphed into something else?
Understanding ‘Kurusha Mchanga’ in the Omogusii Tradition
In traditional Abagusii funerals, “kurusha mchanga” (throwing soil) is a symbolic gesture. When mourners throw a handful of soil onto the coffin, it signifies a final farewell—a physical act of letting go and returning the deceased to the earth, from which humanity is believed to come. It is an emotional, spiritual, and communal ritual of closure, practiced across many African communities.
In the context of marriage, especially for a wife, throwing soil can signify more than farewell. Traditionally, it marks the woman’s acceptance of her husband’s death and his family. It affirms that she remained committed till death and, in doing so, earns respect and inclusion in the final rites. It is not a litmus test of loyalty but a symbolic continuity of kinship.
Cultural Practice vs. Cultural Weaponization
What happened in Mosobeti, however, betrays this noble ritual. Mellen, who had separated from her husband, was reportedly summoned to bring their children to pay last respects. Instead, she was met with hostility and humiliation. Women from the deceased’s family accused her of abandoning her husband, and when she approached the grave, they threw “amaraba” (a mixture of soil, spit, or herbs) at her—a cultural form of public shame—while chanting in ridicule.
This incident was not culture; it was cruelty. It was a hijacking of tradition for personal vengeance. As a Christian and as an Omogusii, one must condemn such acts. Death should not become a platform for punishing women—especially mothers of the deceased’s children—who choose separation for whatever reason.
In the traditional Omogusii culture, when a man dies, his wife is expected to participate in mourning rituals as part of the communal grieving process. If the couple had children together, the widow is usually given a central role during the funeral. This includes sitting close to the coffin, being acknowledged in the eulogies, and in some cases, leading prayers or songs, especially if she is religious.
A key ritual she is expected to perform is kurusha mchanga—the symbolic act of throwing soil into the grave—as a gesture of closure, farewell, and respect for the deceased. Following the burial, she may undergo cultural cleansing rites, which could involve shaving her hair, staying indoors for a designated mourning period, or refraining from certain activities. These practices are meant to mark her transition from being a wife to a widow, while offering spiritual and social closure.
But note: These practices were often based on mutual respect. They were rarely enforced through coercion, and their intensity varied across clans.
What Has Changed?
With modernization, formal education, and Christianity, some of these practices have either faded or evolved and it entails; Fewer widows go through extended mourning rituals and The church has taken over many burial functions, integrating sermons, gospel music, and scriptural readings into funerals.
Not forgetting, Some women no longer “kurusha mchanga,” especially when separated from the husband or when cultural alienation has occurred. Others choose to grieve privately, especially in cases of estrangement or abuse.
Yet some elements remain: Funeral announcements and contributions are still managed within kinship lines. The wife (or ex-wife) and her children are still considered integral to the burial program. and Respecting the dead is a moral duty—culturally and religiously.
The sensationalism around “amaraba” or refusing a woman to throw soil because she was separated from her husband exposes a deeper rot: a culture hijacked by pettiness and personal vendettas. Some use funerals to settle scores, shame women, and enforce patriarchy. In doing so, they misrepresent our traditions.
As Christians, we are taught forgiveness, mercy, and love. As Abagusii, we are taught unity, respect, and dignity. Where then does this anger, theatrics, and humiliation come from—especially in a moment meant to unite grieving hearts?
The Way Forward
Let’s be clear: what happened in Kisii is unacceptable. It cannot be justified as culture. If you are uncomfortable with a tradition, you can respectfully disengage from it. But if you practice it, do it with reverence, not as a weapon.
Let our culture not become a mask for malice. Let our Christianity not become silent in the face of injustice. Let funerals be moments of closure, not open wounds.
And to the women like Mellen—mothers, wives, or estranged partners—who are brave enough to show up in moments of death, may our community learn to honor you, not humiliate you.
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